Something deeper




Forever

I think a lot about how we as a culture have turned “forever” into the only acceptable definition of success.

Like… if you open a coffee shop and run it for a while and it makes you happy but then stuff gets too expensive and stressful and you want to do something else so you close it, it’s a “failed” business. If you write a book or two, then decide that you don’t actually want to keep doing that, you’re a “failed” writer. If you marry someone, and that marriage is good for a while, and then stops working and you get divorced, it’s a “failed” marriage.

The only acceptable “win condition” is “you keep doing that thing forever”. A friendship that lasts for a few years but then its time is done and you move on is considered less valuable or not a “real” friendship. A hobby that you do for a while and then are done with is a “phase” – or, alternatively, a “pity” that you don’t do that thing any more. A fandom is “dying” because people have had a lot of fun with it but are now moving on to other things.

I just think that something can be good, and also end, and that thing was still good. And it’s okay to be sad that it ended, too. But the idea that anything that ends is automatically less than this hypothetical eternal state of success… I don’t think that’s doing us any good at all.

Helen Bright (brightwanderer)

I’ve been thinking about this a lot since I read it a few days ago. As a divorcee and serial hobbyist it really hits home.

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Zach Youngs is 'Not Lonely in the Dark'

My dear friend, Zach Youngs is one of the most honest and genuine people I know. Zach’s blog is chock full of cogent movie reviews but his recent entry, Not Lonely in the Dark is a look into his love of movies, problems with relationships and loneliness, and right down into his heart.

At a certain point many of my friends, acquaintances, coworkers, family members, strangers I follow on social media, began pairing off, then breaking up, then pairing off again. It looks really easy, effortless even, but there’s always been something inside me that stops me from saying something, from letting my feelings be known.

Love you buddy.